In the mornings, there are usually about six people in the entire gym. It’s quiet. After a few weeks you even start recognising the regulars. There’s the old guy, whose routine involves changing his shirt in the weight room (bet you a dollar I’ve seen more elderly nipples than you today) and then balancing uneasily… Continue reading Note to self: never go to the gym after work
Done. Twenty blog posts published. My self-imposed ban on waiting to tell people that this blog exists is over. I can now email the link to my mum, so that she can pretend that she reads it and I can pretend to believe her. I should definitely do some sort of… welcome. But what should… Continue reading Blog launch party
I started this blog almost a month ago on what was surely one of the most anti-social but most enjoyable Saturday evenings I’ve had in a while. I sat down with this curry: and this movie: I put on the pink fluffy socks my grandma sent me for my birthday and cackled at my own… Continue reading Practicing some self-restraint. Sorta.
Brick likes loud noises. But we're not here today to discuss volume, else this'd just be a list championing bands in student bars. We're here today to discuss those noises that give me a little shiver of delight, at any decibel. So, without further ado, here they are. The slide whistle. An instrument? That sounds… Continue reading My Five Favourite Noises
When my flatmate went overseas a few months back, she left me in charge of her 'Daily Hunk' calendar - a daily man with a sleazy caption. She entrusted me to "take care" of her boys, ripping a new sheet off daily to see what colour nipple we'd be treated to. I "took care" of… Continue reading The Daily Hunk: Landon
Welcome to a series in which I review public bathrooms in haiku form. Previous editions: Fork & Brewer | Courtenay Place public toilets Fringe Bar, Wellington Door signs in Māori It’s a nice cultural touch In a Kiwi bar. When you get inside The wall of chlorine hits you Like a public pool. Space is… Continue reading Haiku Reviews of Public Bathrooms: Fringe Bar
Back in the 1980s, when I was a baby, my mother saved my life. As I was the firstborn, she was new to motherhood, still doing everything properly. I would have been swathed in clean, hand-knitted blankets, free of vomit stains. I don’t have children, but from what I can work out, if you have… Continue reading I Am a Very Selfless Person