Brick likes loud noises. But we're not here today to discuss volume, else this'd just be a list championing bands in student bars. We're here today to discuss those noises that give me a little shiver of delight, at any decibel. So, without further ado, here they are. The slide whistle. An instrument? That sounds… Continue reading My Five Favourite Noises
Month: August 2012
The Daily Hunk: Landon
When my flatmate went overseas a few months back, she left me in charge of her 'Daily Hunk' calendar - a daily man with a sleazy caption. She entrusted me to "take care" of her boys, ripping a new sheet off daily to see what colour nipple we'd be treated to. I "took care" of… Continue reading The Daily Hunk: Landon
Haiku Reviews of Public Bathrooms: Fringe Bar
Welcome to a series in which I review public bathrooms in haiku form. Previous editions: Fork & Brewer | Courtenay Place public toilets Fringe Bar, Wellington Door signs in Māori It’s a nice cultural touch In a Kiwi bar. When you get inside The wall of chlorine hits you Like a public pool. Space is… Continue reading Haiku Reviews of Public Bathrooms: Fringe Bar
I Am a Very Selfless Person
Back in the 1980s, when I was a baby, my mother saved my life. As I was the firstborn, she was new to motherhood, still doing everything properly. I would have been swathed in clean, hand-knitted blankets, free of vomit stains. I don’t have children, but from what I can work out, if you have… Continue reading I Am a Very Selfless Person
Subtle Signs That You Have Angered the Universe
Sometimes it's difficult to tell if the universe is pissed at you. If your boyfriend dumps you via email the same day you get told you didn't get the job... yep, it's mad. If you twist your ankle the night before you're supposed to go on an island holiday... yep, it's angry. If you try… Continue reading Subtle Signs That You Have Angered the Universe
Liz Lemon’s Workout Gives Me a Sense of Deja Vu
Liz Lemon eating a McDonalds caramel sundae on her treadmill is supposed to be funny. I mean, it IS funny. I'm not disputing that. But when I saw this scene I was struck with a secondary emotion: that cringey embarrassed feeling of recognition. Because, here's where we hit confession time: I have literally ridden an… Continue reading Liz Lemon’s Workout Gives Me a Sense of Deja Vu
Haiku Reviews of Public Bathrooms: Courtenay Place RoboToilets
Welcome to a series in which I review public bathrooms in haiku form. Read the first entry here, where I visited the Fork & Brewer. In this entry I brave the Courtenay Place public toilets, a block of loos that have embraced technology with enthusiasm. Courtenay Place RoboToilets I’m sure we all know You have… Continue reading Haiku Reviews of Public Bathrooms: Courtenay Place RoboToilets
A Guide to Being Thrifty With Your Gifties
Pinching your pennies? Scrimping your silver? Tucking way your toonies? (Not aboot to forget you Canadians, eh). I'm here to help! I have been saving money for the last eight months, largely as a result of seeing this poster while pottering on Pinterest: You might point out that the poster advocates booking a ticket and… Continue reading A Guide to Being Thrifty With Your Gifties
Children with Wheels in Their Shoes Falling Over
Things that make me happy: #2 Recently, I went for an hour-long walk. At the end of this hour-long walk, I walked up a steep flight of stairs. At the end of the flight of stairs, I tried to beat all of my weightlifting records. At the end of making my body hate me for… Continue reading Children with Wheels in Their Shoes Falling Over
The Case for and Against an Instant Replay Button for Life
For: Recently I was walking home from work and wandered past an Asian market. Inside, a woman was standing in front of an open drinks fridge, with a small boy standing next to her. He was repeatedly and vigorously punching her in the left buttock, his little eyebrows furrowed with concentration. She looked expressionless and… Continue reading The Case for and Against an Instant Replay Button for Life
